Engaged!
Announcing an engagement is perhaps the most exciting news a young lady
will ever have. And why shouldn’t it
be? It marks the moment where a young
lady’s life will change dramatically.
New responsibilities, new joys, and new experiences are just around the
corner!
What is the
purpose of engagement? Many of you would
say, “Marriage”. Of course, you would be
right. What is the purpose of
marriage? There are probably several
answers a person could give: to have a family, to be stable financially, for companionship,
etc. A person usually marries because
they think the relationship will make their life fuller and happier than what
it is right now.
You might be thinking,
what is the purpose of all these questions?
Let me explain my thought. Marriage
is a wonderful blessing and gift.
Unfortunately, many young ladies enter into marriage with wrong
expectations, namely the expectation that marriage is supposed to give them a
sense of self-fulfillment. These young
ladies enter into marriage hoping that marriage, a husband, and children will
give them a sense of purpose.
My point is, you
must have that sense of purpose now. Marriage will come, you’ll have a husband and
children, and you still might not be content.
It is important to develop that contentment now, before you are married
and your attitude of discontentment effects your future household.
I am only 22 years
old, but I have seen many marriages and not all of them have been happy
ones. Of course, every marriage will
have trials and perhaps disagreements, but that one or the other spouse, or
perhaps both of them, are discontent with their relationship. Why is this?
The only
explanation I have found, is that they did not prepare well, beforehand. Really, we shouldn’t worry about self-fulfillment
because we will always come up empty.
Our main goals and desires should be to accomplish God’s will for our
lives.
As young people, that is perhaps the biggest
question we encounter. We know God put
us here for a reason, but discovering that reason sometimes seems far beyond
our reach. Debating our purpose for
being here is most often a source of agitation and despair, but really we don’t
have try and “discover” our purpose in the respect that we should trust God for
our futures.
Now, this doesn’t
mean that we should wander our way through life expecting God to do all the
work. We should take the initiative to
step through the doors that the Lord opens for us, and this may be a struggle. Remember, we can look to God’s Word for
guidance. We can also look to godly
authorities such as parents, pastors, mentors, etc.
Perhaps, one of
the hardest lessons, is the lesson of contentment. Contentment is the state of happiness and
satisfaction. If you are not content in your present situation, you will not be
content in a change of situation most likely.
Notice, contentment refers to attitude and not situation. As long as God is your anchor, your stronghold,
and your standard… you can find contentment in any situation, knowing that He
is in control.
If you trust God
for your comfort, happiness, and reassurance… you will not rely on another
individual to provide these things according to your expectation, which will eliminate
a lot of tension, anger, and resentment in a future marriage.
This is not to
say, that we shouldn’t expect our spouse to give us our emotional and physical
needs, but when they fall short, to not criticize them or build up resentment
against them. Turn to God, for healing
and encouragement. No human being is
perfect, and neither are we. We will
fall short too. But having that godly
foundation established (in this I am referring to having your own Christian
walk and prayer-life in order, your assurance of eternal life), this will all help
keep resentment from forming in a marriage.
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